Start here · Planning a family

Keep putting off trying for a baby? Look at what's behind the delay.

"Maybe next year." "When work calms down." "When I feel ready." Sometimes those are honest reasons – and sometimes they're the polite cover for a fear that's been making your decisions for you. Either way, it's worth knowing which.

Start with this question Fear or choice?

You're not the only onemany women quietly delay or avoid pregnancy for years because of fear

Fear ≠ choicea settled decision feels different from one made under dread

Before, not duringthe best time to address reproductive fear is before pregnancy, not mid-way through it

First, name what's happening

Start with this

Should I wait until I'm pregnant to address my fears?

The most common plan is "I'll deal with it when it happens". Here's why dealing with the fear first changes everything about the decision – and the pregnancy.

Read the article

Naming it

What if your fear doesn't have a name?

The power of finally putting words to what you feel – and why so many women never get to.

The definitive guide

Tokophobia: everything you need to know

If the fear has a grip on your life decisions, it may be tokophobia – the extreme fear of pregnancy and birth.

Does any of this sound like you?

Fear rarely says "I'm afraid". It says "not yet", "I'm not the maternal type", "I just can't picture it".

I don't want kids – or is it the fear deciding? Read this → I'm childfree – but I've never been sure it was a choice Read this → I hate the thought of something growing inside me Read this → It's becoming a thing between me and my partner Listen to this →

When you can't ignore it any longer

For many women the fear stays manageable right up until a decision forces the issue. These pieces are about that moment.

I thought I could ignore my tokophobia – until I had to make a choice

What happens when the avoidance strategy runs out of road.

I never had the right words for my fear – until now

Living for years with a wordless dread around pregnancy, birth and motherhood.

JJ's tokophobia and its hidden impact

How an unnamed fear quietly shaped creativity, relationships and life plans.

7 signs of a woman with tokophobia

The patterns that show up again and again – including planning a life around never being pregnant.

Women who faced the fear – on their own terms

Resolving the fear doesn't decide the question for you. It hands the decision back. These women went on to very different lives – all of them freely chosen.

From fearful to surrogate: Susie's story

Healing story

Erin's tokophobia healing journey

Healing story · From the podcast

My tokophobia story: the birth of all this

Founder story · Alexia Leachman

All healing stories

Fear Free
Childbirth
Podcast

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When you're ready

Want to know whether fear is making your decisions?

Our sister site Fearless Birthing – founded by the same team – offers a tokophobia assessment that helps you see what you're carrying before you make any decisions about family. There's no obligation attached to taking it, and no answer it pushes you towards.

Take the tokophobia assessment Or explore the support options at your own pace.